The Balancing Table

There was a table on which anything could be balanced with far more ease than anywhere else. Pennies, pens, acrobats, even checkbooks and chakras. No one knew why this was so. Some said it was because the table was absolutely, perfectly flat, but critics said that didn't explain how it helped mentally unstable people find balance. Others claimed the table's balancing powers were magical in nature, but critics simply laughed at them, because magic. There were no special electromagnetic fields, or any sort of harmonious alignment with the planet's gravity. Things simply worked better there than anyplace else on earth.

For the longest time, the table served as a tourist attraction. Nearby were shelves of oddly shaped items that people could balance on the table for a dollar apiece. As years passed, however, this was no longer enough for the owner, who increasingly felt the need to do good with his amazing table. He thought perhaps to take it to San Francisco and erect a building atop it, one that would not fall no matter how terrible the earthquake, but the table could not support the weight. He loaned it to congress in hopes they might balance the budget with it, but seemed though the budget could be balanced, only those who were at the table would agree on it, with all other congressmen falling into their usual political grandstanding, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get all five hundred members around it at once. Finally, he decided it best to donate it to a therapist, whose clients often were able to find balance in their lives after only two sessions. 

- Originally mailed to W. Murphree of Rosenburg, Texas