It never failed. Every time they went
on a trip together, Obi-Wan Kenobi would always tell Leia, “Remember
to study the itinerary. It has all the important information. Hotel
name, room number, where we're going and when. If you get lost, it
will help you.”
“I'm not going to forget where we're staying, Ben,” she would say. “Besides, if I do, R2 has the plans. I'll just ask him.”
He thought to argue with her, but
knew how she could be when someone told her no. She was a princess
after all.
Naturally, after checking in and
after Ben had left to find a good bar, Leia promptly forgot where
they were staying. She couldn't even call Ben because she'd never
learned his number, trusting her cell phone to remember for her. She
tried asking R2 for help, but he didn't care for her much. She didn't
give him oil baths or call him “Little Friend” the way Ben did,
and she never made any attempt to learn his language, making their
conversations one-sided at best, and usually just a series of
commands from her to him with little regard to his feelings. So he
didn't tell her. He just cursed in beeps and whistles knowing she
wouldn't understand him anyway. Not knowing how else to find the way
back to the hotel, she had R2-D2 do what he always did. Find Ben and
deliver a message.
When the little droid found him, he
was sitting in a seedy bar nursing some Corellian booze. That's when
R2 played the eight words the retired jedi had come to dread every
time he took a vacation.
“Help me Obi-wan Kenobi. You're my
only hope.”
- Originally mailed to R. Morris of Cambridge, Ontario, Canada
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