The Venusian invaders hoped to
conquer Earth, but their politicians utterly slashed their space
exploration budget. Only two probes were launched in the entirity of
their preplanning for the invasion, and even those were impact
probes and single shot landers. By remarkable coincidence, both
probes landed at mini-golf courses, and with the grainy low res
images that came back, they assumed that Earthlings were tiny, no
taller than six inches, based on the size of the doors on the
windmills that seemed to proliferate the planet's surface (also an
indicator of low technological advancement).
They built giant robots twenty feet
tall, which they were certain would be utterly unstoppable to these
renaissance era liliputians. After months in transit, the killer
robots finally landed on the earth at their target landing sites.
They climbed from the metal capsules and began to spread total havok
across the tiny villages they encountered, at least until the first
humans showed up. Sure, the giants were still taller than them, but
it only took three of them to topple the mechanical monstrosities and
their inch thick armor, a scale foot thick to the their anticipated
tiny enemies, turned out to be only mildy inconvenient when punched
by the armor piercing rounds of a taller populace.
In the end, the robots were content
to trash three mini-golf courses before returning home, the Venusians
refusing to call the mission a total wash.
- Originally mailed to J. Lawrence of Roseland, New South Wales, Australia
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