The Baby Blue Bouncer

They called him the Baby-Blue Bouncer, but not for the reason most suspected. Many assumed the name came from the tie, but the tie came later. It was a symptom of the name, but not the cause. No, they called him the Baby-Blue Bouncer because of how seriously he took his job. “You'll never get nowhere in this business if you can't abide by the host's rules.”

It was a baby shower for a premature baby. The mother had hoped it would happen before her little Stuart came, but Mother Nature never cared much for schedules, and the young boy came in month seven, a full month before the baby shower. Undeterred, the mother declared they would have the baby shower anyway. She'd kept the child's gender a secret, hoping to play a “Guess My Sex” game. However, to keep cheaters from gaming the system and changing their vote once they reached the party, she asked that all guests show up wearing either blue (if they thought the baby a boy) or pink (if they thought the baby a girl). She'd done a solid job keeping anyone from finding out before the party, but just to be safe, dressed the child in a green onsie with a yellow and brown giraffe on it. She wore a white sundress.

The bouncer would not let the boy in. “Sorry, ma'am,” he told the child's mother. “The kid needs to be in blue or pink. You too for that matter.”

“But it's my party,” she protested.

“Rules are rules,” he said and blocked the doorway.

She fired him, but his reputation had been made as the go-to bouncer.

- Originally mailed to H. Witten in Oxford, Mississippi