The Remake

Hollywood had run out of ideas (again) and decided to remake the film Snatch. However, because Hollywood hated to admit it had run out of ideas (again), they changed the title to Grab and set it two hundred years in the past. The cars became carriages. The Desert Eagle .50 became a Colt revolver. Other than that, nothing changed at all. Mickey was still a gypsy who wanted a caravan. Characters still gambled and lost on prize fights, and brick top still kept pigs. Critics caught the blatant story theft. Some bemoaned it. Others called it clever (notably, the same critics who call it clever when someone pitches Hamlet... in SPACE!!!). Movie buffs proclaimed it the death knell of studio cinema. The saddest part, however, were the kids who grew up with Grab, and who, upon seeing Snatch years later, would call it a ripoff inexplicably set at the end of the 20^th century, and bemoan how unimaginative Hollywood was.


- Originally mailed to T. Switzer in Biloxi, Mississippi