Cake Die

Sonya Novaski was a devout gamer, so naturally when it came time for her birthday, she requested her cake be in the shape of a die, a six-sider out of consideration for the baker. This consideration did nothing to save the poor baker, however, for as serious as she was about her hobby, she insisted the die had to be fair and true.

“What?” asked the baker. “You intend to roll the cake?”

“Of course,” said Sonya. “It is a die, isn't it? And I expect a random result.”

The baker slaved for days, weeks, trying to find a cake that would be sturdy enough to be rolled hundreds of times but still soft enough to eat. He fretted over the icing and how to keep it from smudging and smearing. Finally after more hard labor than he was being paid for, he created the perfect cake. Six sides that, while uneven, produced a statistically perfect spread of numbers over one thousand rolls. It was a masterpiece of baking, a work of culinary and engineering perfection.

Sonya loved it, rolled it several times, and gave the baker a nod of approval. After playing a game of Settlers of Catan with the cake and another die (“Why didn't I order two?” she thought), she and her guests cut in to enjoy their delicious randomizer. It was chocolate, which Sonya hated. She couldn't complain, though. She had never specified the flavor, she realized. Besides, it was never really about eating the cake.

- Originally mailed to S. Donohue from Allen Park, Michigan