Vodka Robbers

Contrary to the hyperbole people like to throw around, during Russia's vodka shortage, the popular beverage was never worth its weight in gold. It was, however, worth its weight in silver, which, though no where near as pricey, would still end up costing a man as much as $550 just for the run of the mill stuff. Sure, a person could make their own, but the cost of distilling supplies, ingredients, time, and skill made most just bite the bullet and buy a bottle.

Its value, however, created a brief but fascinating barter market in which vodka, while not legal tender, may as well have been. People even bought safes and established vodka savings accounts at banks, where they could keep their precious liquor and set withdraw limits of two shots per day. Unfortunately, this gave rise to a new, virtually unarrestable band of bank robber, who would charge in, guns brandished, and demand, “Give us all your vodka!”

Sure catching them was easy. They could often be found stumbling about in fields. Given the nature of the theft, however, there was rarely any evidence left to convict with.

- Originally mailed to P. Brown in Clovis, New Mexico (whom I am told has a vodka allergy, ironically enough)