On Regulus IV there exists a strain of
hypersentient fungus who learned to live in peace with all their
world. No longer did they have any predators and they bred only when
resources were sufficient. They were experts in all sciences and
mathematics and philosophy and had long ago diagnosed the nature of
evil and purged it from their world. Their language, however, was a
subtle one, full of shades of meaning, shades of color, pheromones,
and timing. Few civilizations ever reach such states of enlightenment
and sophistication. Unfortunately, the first men to land on Regulus
IV never learned the language because they never considered a fungus
could be sentient. As a result, on official records from then on,
this amazing race was listed fungus phallus, the penis mushroom.
- Originally mailed to H. Longino from Gulfport, Mississippi
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