In the backwoods of Tennessee where
wifi is unheard of, men will race anything to pass the time.
Naturally they raced cars and horses, but one can't race horses every
day and cars need gas. After a while, they began racing cows (ridden)
and pigs (no jockey). Still, too much cow racing and the milk got
weird and pigs required special pens to make them go in the direction
they needed. Too much work. Chickens wandered about aimlessly and
would escape the special pig tracks. Turtles and frogs were too
indifferent. One day, Bartholomew Magee came up with the notion of
racing hay. The bales were already round and would roll well, and
besides, the crop needed to be gathered up anyway. Why not make the
finish line the collection point? So they did. Though it took some
thinking, they even overcame the only real obstacle. Convincing the
hay to race. In the end, it was a simple matter. They motivated the
hay the way most people are motivated. They told the hay it wasn't
good enough for the far end of the field and let hay prove them
wrong.
- Originally mailed to A. Anderson of Portland, Oregon
