The Fire Demon

The young fire demon had been very good that year, or so she told her parents. She ate up all her fuel. She started several notable fires, including one three alarm blaze. She had even begun to learn to fight other fires using only herself. She had, by all accounts, been a very good fire demon and thus, she deserved a very special treat on Burning Night, the evening of the first cold snap of the harvest when all the fireplaces around town got their first good blazes since the previous winter. All she wanted was a riding log of her very own, perhaps some white oak or hickory that would burn hot and last a long time.

A week before Burning Night, a great rain came, and a fire the young demon had worked so hard to start went out with a splash and a sizzle. Dejected, the young demon hung her head in shame, knowing that with such a complete failure to get a good burn going she would have a very dull holiday indeed.

And then, to her surprise when she rose with the moon on that first cold snap in November, she saw such bounty in the fireplace that she could scarcely believe her eyes. A whole fire pit full of every type of log imaginable, from maple to dogwood, and ash and birch and pecan. All night long and well into the afternoon the following day, she danced from one log to the next, riding away and glowing bright with each new bit of wood. She had never been happier.

- Originally mailed to D. Murphey from Ocean Springs, Mississippi

The Shopping Demon

Oh the ridicule Beelzebub endured every year come late December when he haunted the halls of the uptown mall, searching for the best deals on clothes and shoes and sunglasses. The other denizens of the infernal pits would torment him for this (verbally, of course, not the blades and fire and acid sort of torment reserved for their day jobs, because who wants to take their work home for them?). Not that they had a problem with shopping. No, demons loved the infatuation people had for mindless consumption and consumerism. It was like gluttony and greed and pride and avarice all rolled into one, and on Black Friday, they could even squeeze in a little wrath. Few activities aside from genocide and DVRing Jersey Shore* could be so evil. No, they teased him for going to Christmas sales.

“I'm just shopping to over commercialize the religious holiday. Just trying to undermine the message of goodness and generosity and care for one's fellow man by spreading the enthusiasm for rampant selfishness.”

But they knew the truth. He was an amazing demon, but his shopping addiction had nothing to do with it. Sometimes a demon just wanted a stylish suit.

*Jersey Shore may not seem so evil, but it is actually a lynchpin in one of the more diabolical and secretive of Hell's nefarious schemes too complex to discuss in this post card. 

Originally mailed to M. Wilkes in Ridgeland, Mississippi

Dubstep Demon

Grimnok was without a doubt the most garish demon to walk the earth in as long as anyone could remember and the whole neon spots and bright red horns had the worst habit of attracting woo girls when he had serious damnation business to be doing. A demon ought to be feared and respected, he would bemoan, not cuddled upon while friends took pictures. They should be groveling at his feet in terror begging for their lives, or at their very least offering up their souls. Oh sure, at first he delighted in their presence, with their cheers for hand grenades and hurricanes and Bloody Mary. He thought them beings of indescribable carnage, but oh how his heart sank when he learned the only thing they intended to punish were their livers. Soon, they would rue the day they thought him a mere “party monster.” But before he could enact his vengeance, he would need to fortify his resolve with at least six more jell-o shots and a few hours dancing to some really rockin' dubstep.

 - Originally mailed to J. Hall of Jackson, Mississippi