Toast Academy

One does not simply wake in the morning and decide to be toast. No, one can have all the toasty desire in the world, but without the right experiences, one will still be only bread. No, one must go to Toast Academy if one wishes to become toast.

There are many Toaster Academies. Some only take two students at a time, others handle eight or more. Some are pop-in pop-out affairs, some require the student to get comfortable because they will be there a while. It’s important to go to a good academy, regardless of how many the facilities can handle. One doesn’t want to attend an academy that doesn’t provide a well-rounded experience. Those poor types focus too much to the point of being virtually unusable.

Of course getting into a good Toast Academy is only the first step. One must find balance in their studies. The slackers in the back of the class, by the end of their time at Toast Academy we toast in name only, while the over-achievers trying to sit as close to the instructor as possible often burn out, which is more unfortunate. The slacker can always give it another go later. Toast Academy, much like life, is all about balance.

It takes hard work, planning, and patience to go from bread to toast. It isn’t easy, but it is an important, transformative experience that leaves its students changed for the better ready for the world to chew it up for breakfast.

- Sent to H.C. of Alabama