Cat Heaven

It is widely known that cats have nine lives, but what few people realize is that cats also have nine heavens, one to follow each death. In each of these heavens, the cat that was dwells in a self-contained eternity and its next life resumed by the cat that will be, virtually identical to the previous life save for the lessons it learned in the previous heaven.

Of these heavens little is known, as cats are one of the most aloof of all creatures, and are great keepers of secrets. Only a few of these heavens are known, namely Belly Rub Heaven, String Heaven, and Heaven Where the Red Dot Is Slow. Of those heavens, all that we have are the names and a good guess what it must be like there.

The only cat heaven for which survives a first-hand account is Box Heaven. Mister Friskywhiskers returned after his fourth life with tales of Box Heaven, a place with boxes of every size and shape imaginable. Box Heaven had boxes big enough for a lion and small enough for a Singapura. It had boxes that smelled of tuna, boxes that smelled of mice. There were boxes that smelled of catnip and boxes that smelled of fresh new boxes.

Boxes could be stacked so cats could sleep in boxes on boxes, boxes in boxes, and even boxes in boxes on boxes in boxes. And the best part, he said, every box came with its own human staring on in disheartened defeat wanting to use the box the cat had claimed for its own, but unable to take it.

- Originally mailed to A.P. in Louisiana