Motivational Doors

The Life Cafe decided early in its planning stages that all of its instructions would be presented in the form of motivational phrases and life advice. Their doors told people to “Push Hard.” At the order counter signs advised customers to “think before you act!” and “plan ahead!” Urinals advised customers to “be a straight shooter” and the signs above the bathroom sinks told customers to “do as you would have others do.” To cut down on food waste, which attracted raccoons and homeless people, plates and bowls had messages like “Don't give up!” and “Always finish what you start.” Their no refunds policy was followed with “You can't please everyone.”

The trickiest part of their grand vision was finding a way to convey food allergy information. Though they couldn't find any appropriate phrases about peanuts or shellfish, they did make a habit of listing ingredients and following the words of Titus Lucretius Carus particularly useful. “The food of one may be poison to another.”

- Originally mailed to J. Dunn from D'Iberville, Mississippi

Advice Wall

When a man finds himself stuck, he often seeks answers from a power beyond himself. Many pray, but there are other systems of mystical divination. The Chinese had the I Ching. Europeans had the tarot, the Norse their rune casting. Americans had the Magic 8-Ball. Down beneath the Exit 26 overpass just outside of Johnsonville stood the Advice Wall, a large expanse of concrete covered in words and phrases, painted on by kids long forgotten. Teenagers, who find themselves confused and needing guidance more than most, would follow the abandoned railroad tracks to the advice wall with a water balloon in hand, and pose their question to the sagely stone. Then, with their eyes closed, they would lob the balloon at the wall, and where the water hit, there they found guidance. Many swore by it, particularly Mayor Filmont, who as a kid fresh out of high school asked the wall what he should do with his life and was told, “iTs youR towN.”

- Originally mailed to P. Brown of Clovis, New Mexico