Though most would scoff at the idea,
birthday clowns and magicians and every sort of professional party
goer will shudder and share their own harrowing experiences in hushed
tones at the mention of evil balloons. Their tales cover the whole
gamut, from balloons that maliciously pop right as the birthday boy
is blowing out his candles, startling him and depriving him of his
yearly wish, to those that cling to the body and refuse to let go no
matter how much you shake. They recount tales of horror in which one
high and mighty balloon holds an entire room of adults under its
command, filling them with fear at the thought of letting him touch
the ground. One clown told of a balloon that followed him after a
party, gunned down his partner, and stole his car.
Spotting these evil balloons is not
easy, if reports are to be believed. An evil unmarked balloon and a
wholesome, American-loving unmarked balloon look the same. One could
watch their behaviors. Does this balloon stick to me? Does it burst
at inopportune times? Unfortunately by the time one has identified
the evil balloon, it as already struck. The best method is to draw
faces on all balloons. Evil balloons revel in their evil, and will
entice you draw an evil face. Once identified, your only course of
action if you wish to preserve the lives of those around you is to
leave the building, seal the doors, and burn the place to ashes.
- Originally mailed to B. Bowser from Brandon, Mississippi
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